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Lightning strikes, Tinder ignites, society goes up in flames.

7/6/2015

14 Comments

 
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New research into contact between partners shows a change in values. Twenty-somethings are much more promiscuous than earlier generations because of dating apps like Tinder.

If you haven't been marooned on a desert island for the last six months, or living without all the latest apps like me, you might have heard of Tinder. Number one: you need to be on the look-out for a dating partner. It's no fun on your own. Number two: you need a smart-phone and a mind to go with it. I swear all this 'stuff' leaves me cold. Anyway, if you work your way around the technology, you can get an online app that lets you swipe yes/no to women's pictures while they are swiping yes/no to yours, too.

In a survey of 2,000 young people commissioned by Samsung Galaxy S6 edge, many said they never expected to find a life partner due to the high turnover of dates available through online site and mobile phone dating apps like Tinder and Plenty of Fish.

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British 18 to 25-year-olds will have double the number of sexual partners before they get married, and a third more relationships, than the older generation. The research found that today's contemporaries go on more dates, have more partners, and more sex than their parents did at the same age.


Also, young people expect to change jobs at least ten times in their lifetimes, and to have more friends, but fewer life-long friendships.

So—no more finding one job that will occupy you for the rest of your life, no marrying your teenage sweetheart, and no putting down roots and buying your own home with a long-term view of sitting on the porch in your rocking chair.

Tinder (and dating in general) might be a tedious process akin to an archaeologist digging a site to find the occasional piece of gold, but its worldwide popularity verifies the app’s viability as a way to meet a partner.

Within one generation, society has evolved from shovel to swipe.

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Back in the swinging 60s, western society believed in free love, which meant you need not tie yourself to one partner. The social movement rejected marriage, which was seen as a form of social and financial bondage. This was kick-started by the arrival of the contraceptive pill.

Here's an excerpt from my memoirs from the same era:

'My husband met people at his new advertising job and brought some interesting characters home to meet me. Turned out they had joined the radical Scientology group. One of his business friends left his wife and daughters, months after we'd got to know the family. He wanted to pursue his own happiness according to Hubbard's teachings, and often brought two hookers to visit us. The cheerful young women were so different than me in outer countenance, wearing tight flashy clothes and plenty of eye make-up. After they'd eaten with us, they'd go into the bathroom and polish their rings with toothpaste to make them sparkle before going out for the night. Life offered them fun and excitement. I wonder how they feel about their choice now.'

That life didn't appeal to me though; I stuck to my bipolar husband for as long as I was able. Some partnerships are not right for one party. Although I believed in honoring my vow, I split from him after twenty-seven years before the union destroyed me.

As each generation matures, they work out the need to commit themselves to a common goal, to raise a family, and to rely on support in their old age. Even now, many of the aged live alone, either by choice or because their partner has died. We do what we must.

But love is about caring for others, not just yourself. 'Without true love we just exist,' as the words from the song Alfie tell us.

It's hard to theorize about the future. Will this generation remain floating in a cloud of self-gratification for the rest of their lives?


14 Comments
Jacqui Malpass link
7/5/2015 08:26:24 pm

I find myself horrified that people give of themselves for pure gratification. Having left a promiscuous husband - I know that for me fidelity and respect are crucial to a loving relationship.

I never slept around, I just can't. Thats not to say haven't rebelled in other ways. It's just that I believe that love and my body are sacrosanct.

Love is after all everything and all there is.

Fabulous and thought provoking piece.

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Toni Nelson link
7/5/2015 08:33:17 pm

At times it seems we live in a throw away society. If you don't like it or want it, throw it away. We need to cherish, nurture and appreciate what we have.

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Roy A. Ackerman, PhD, EA link
7/5/2015 08:59:17 pm

I'm not quite so sure that it's the apps that promote these behaviors- or the apps are developed to accommodate such behaviors. After all, your revelation about the 60s (an era in which I came of age- but eschewed both the drugs and the partners- but not the politics or the rage) did not have any accompanying apps...

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Nick #thisyearinmusic link
7/5/2015 10:26:26 pm

Every generation is more promiscuous than the previous. While opinions might differ with older generations (like my parents) I don't really see a problem with it as long as they're safe and not hurting each other?

If you can, why not try new and different things?

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Alana link
7/5/2015 11:07:18 pm

You are going to have one heck of a memoir, Francene. I didn't participate in a lot of the lifestyle of the late 60's/early 70's but found my own ways to rebel. Maybe I'm glad there wasn't an app for that back then.

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K.Lee Banks link
7/6/2015 12:22:59 am

In spite of how much I'm online and consider myself somewhat "tech savvy" - I had never heard of Tinder! I suppose it's because I'm not looking for a partner. However, my hubby and I actually DID find each other on an online dating site, over 12 years ago!

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Francene
7/6/2015 03:16:26 am

Twelve years ago, things were more conservative. Those of us who were single were looking for a partner for life, not for bed, Karen. I met my husband via a meet in person dating service twenty-six years ago. Not a lot of people know that.

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Corinne Rodrigues link
7/6/2015 01:54:54 am

I'm not against dating sites since I met my husband via one, Francene! However, we have to be careful about what we put out (in every sense) there or we'll attract the wrong kind.
I'm so looking forward to reading your memoir when you're done!

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Francene
7/6/2015 03:18:23 am

Join the club of people who met each other that way, But, as I said above, our intention was to find a real partner. And we made sure we worked at the relationship.
Thank you for your kind comment about reading my memoir. Greatly appreciated.

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Carol Cassara link
7/6/2015 03:47:40 am

What an interesting take on it. I know a couple who married afer meeting on Tinder.

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Shonda link
7/6/2015 05:46:46 am

I keep hearing about Tinder on shows, commercials. Not just the dating sites, but overall, I find immediate gratification, a sense of immense selfishness and the thought to simply discard whatever is not super easy to handle is the common thread in our present society. It is very disheartening. Whether one chooses to date online or the traditional method, it would be nice for people to look for a little substance.

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Lolette link
7/7/2015 03:41:13 pm

I met my Oscar via Craigslist. OMGEEZ don't tell anyone

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Magical Mystical Mimi link
7/8/2015 11:09:11 am

I don't miss dating at all.. My kids are grown, I've got grandbabies and so many other people and things to fill my life right now. I can't imagine fitting a guy in there anywhere! Lol.. Maybe one day again but definitely not today. :)

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Ajay Pai link
7/11/2015 10:21:33 am

Read the Title and found it very interesting. The take on the subject was more interesting. For me, to think of a dating site for a life partner is yet to sync in. May be i am from one of those old schools.

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    Francene Stanley
    From England, I use news items in my novels which you can see below, all linked to an Amazon near you.

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