Toronto born author A.B. Funkhauser is a funeral director, classic car nut and wildlife enthusiast living in Ontario, Canada. Like most funeral directors, she is governed by a strong sense of altruism fueled by the belief that life chooses us and we not it. Her debut novel HEUER LOST AND FOUND, released in April 2015, examines the day to day workings of a funeral home and the people who staff it. Winner of the PREDITORS & EDITORS Reader’s Poll for Best Horror 2015, HEUER LOST AND FOUND is the first installment in Funkhauser’s UNAPOLOGETIC LIVES series. Her sophomore effort, SCOOTER NATION, is set for release March 13, 2016 through Solstice Publishing. A devotee of the gonzo style pioneered by the late Hunter S. Thompson, Funkhauser attempts to shine a light on difficult subjects by aid of humorous storytelling. “In gonzo, characters operate without filters which means they say and do the kinds of things we cannot in an ordered society. Results are often comic but, hopefully, instructive.”

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I'd like to introduce a writer who presents a different slant on the law.

Hello, Karen Millie-James.

1.    What is the title of your latest book?
 
The Shadows Behind Her Smile

'As soon as corporate forensic specialist, Cydney Granger, hears the crunch of tyres on her driveway, she knows they’ve come to report her husband is dead. After all, Captain Steve Granger had barely left for Afghanistan when she’d had the first of those terrible premonitions.' 

2.    Do you want your reader to come away from reading your book with a strong message? If so, what is it?
 
I am not sure if my book has a message.  The title indicates that the protagonist, Cydney Granger, has things in her past which are constant reminders to her of pain and tragedy, but she smiles through it and does not give anything away.  The second meaning is of course the shadows of spirit around her with whom she can communicate.  
 
3.    Would you rather take your reader to another way of existence than share a message?
 
I would like to open the reader’s mind to possibilities.  
 
4.    Will your novel expand the reader's mind? If so, in what way?
 
I would hope so, whether that be to acknowledging that people can get through tragedies in their lives and overcome any obstacles, to learning about the highly competitive corporate world.
 
5.    How long have you been writing?
 
The book has taken nearly three years to write including a few months of editing.  
 
6.    How did you learn your craft?
 
My background is in business and languages therefore the craft of writing was not that difficult.  I love the classics and started reading those at a very early age.  
 
7.    Where do your ideas come from?
 
Possibly from life experiences as how else could you write but the development of the book and characters was something that flowed easily.  
 
8.    Give the reader links to your work.
 
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01BQ9OY3C?tag=relinks-21

It's been good to meet you, Karen. I've really enjoyed reading your book. I'll post a review as soon as I can. I'm sure other readers will be eager to read The Shadows Behind Her Smile.

I'd like to welcome a wonderful writer to be with us today. Geoff Nelder, writer of thrillers, humour, science fiction novels and shorts.

He asks the question in his latest novel, “Who’s that waking up next to you?”
Chilling thought, Geoff. But now on to my questions:

1. What is the title of your latest book?
ARIA: LEFT LUGGAGE is the title of the first book in my latest and only trilogy.

2. Do you want your reader to come away from reading your book with a strong message? If so, what is it?
One message is that buying a new book is still a staple-diet investment and not just for crazies. ARIA is about something so unique no one has done it before: infectious amnesia. It’s fascinating, yet apocalyptic because no one is immune and memory is lost backwards at the rate of a year per week. Message? Yes, you’ll need to keep writing the most crucial message of your life so when you wake up you know the most crucial thing to keep you alive another day! Medicine? Who’s that waking up next to you?

3. Would you rather take your reader to another way of existence than share a message?
The whole point of writing is to give readers a ride, take them away from mundanity or to escape from the madness of reality.

4. Will your novel expand the reader's mind? If so, in what way?
Ironically, while the reader’s mind expands with new concepts, the book’s characters are experiencing their minds contracting with amnesia. Luckily, a few isolate themselves and the reader associates with them to seek survival skills and what many US survivalists call preppers – preparing for the apocalypse.

5. How long have you been writing?
My first story was published 58 years ago in a school magazine. Even while at uni I was editor of the rag mag but studies got in the way, as did full-time teaching for a few decades.

6. How did you learn your craft?
I thought I had writing sussed until every guide I wrote, as an ICT adviser, for other teachers had to be passed through an editor. I grew up very quickly then! Shortly after, I became an acquisition editor for a literary publisher, and a science fiction magazine. I met every kind of punctuation and grammar in the universe. Often they taught me what was possible to enrich reading.

7. Where do your ideas come from?
I cycle up Welsh hills every day. The pumping of my legs oxygenates my brain, bombarding synapses with fresh ideas. Overheard snippets of conversations and being warped make up the rest.

8. Give the reader links to your work.
Infectious amnesia doesn't exist but see what would happen if it did in ARIA
Kindle special price 99p UK and UK for limited time smarturl.it/1fexhs
Paperback Paperback Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/ARIA-Left-Luggage-Volume-1/dp/1905091958/
Paperback UK http://www.amazon.co.uk/ARIA-Left-Luggage-Geoff-Nelder/dp/1905091958/
Publisher’s website with more details and formats. http://www.ll-publications.com/leftluggage.html


Buy it quick before you run out of memory!


You tube video trailer
http://youtu.be/oh0AAXIe8VU

God preserve my memory for a few more years, Geoff. Thank you for sharing your talent.

​I made a terrible mistake last week. I don't know if anyone else has the same problem ordering online.

In a brochure, I found a mattress to replace our old one, dented with... cough... sixteen years of wear. To be fair, it still looked good, made of latex rubber, the manufacturers had made the product to last. Well, maybe not that long.

But, I digress. I went online to the store offering an amazing reduction on a memory foam mattress in king size. I wanted the store, Argos, to pick up my old mattress and recycle. After searching the page and chatting to an annoying customer service person between times, I found what I wanted on the page headed king size. There it was, a little cheaper than the brochure price. Plus, they gave me a discount. With everything totaled, the £19.99 for the pick up was knocked off by the discount. Good.

I ordered the mattress.

Delivered next morning, the product came condensed into a small roll. I laughed. “Will this fit on the bed?”

Apparently, the mattress needed time to expand in the fresh air. Gulping, I sent the old one away with the delivery man. This tiny roll would have to expand fast enough for us to sleep on that night.

But, it didn't fulfill my requirements in time. I made bedrolls of old sheets to wedge either side of the mattress for the night. Nothing wrong with the mattress, but the size would never be right. When I checked, I'd ordered a double bed size. Uggg!

I worried all night—working out what I could do. Just shows the power of the mind.

Next morning I Googled 'extension for mattress width'. The one on Amazon didn't deliver from USA to UK—of course. I needed a company which made offcuts in England.

After much difficulty with getting the right heading on Google, I found a foam manufacturer which specialized in making supports for furniture etc. You could type in the exact size you needed, get a stocking cover for the finished off-cut, and have it delivered.

This time, I got my husband to check my measurements, to make sure. “I'll never order anything over the internet again if this doesn't work,” I said to him.

A week later, my specified mattress wedge arrived. Fit perfectly. Problem solved. Now I have a king size mattress for a very cheap price. I feel clever instead of stupid.

The company I contacted, Mark Harris Upholstery Ltd , http://www.thefoamshop.co.uk/were extremely professional and made the whole process simple. So, if you have a mattress that's too small, consider using this method instead of buying a new one.

Well, It's nearly a week since I last posted a blog.

I must admit, I'm enjoying the break.

It all started with a phone call last Friday from my service provider, BT Internet (UK). The man on the line told me they would have to remove my account from the internet for a few days because a hacker had got into my account and it was affecting them.

He then proceeded to give me instructions to connect with them. Because my computer is in the study, and the phone is in the living room, I had to hobble between locations to complete each task. I was getting hot, bothered and in pain. I went from the first caller, to another supervisor, then to the office manager while the patient men gave me directions.

I started to get suspicious. I still didn't have proof that they were who they said they were. Anyway, I couldn't do what they asked, being non-computer savvy. The upshot was that I refused to do any more and hung up.

I switched off the computer and called my PC engineer, who arranged to visit on Monday.

He said the distance between the computer and the phone could have been what saved me from being hacked. Apparently, many other companies are having similar trouble to Talk-Talk, even Microsoft. His advice was to ring the company back if I ever got another call—not on the number they gave either, but one I knew to be genuine.

So, I've learned two lessons:
1) Don't be too trusting.
2) I like the freedom of not blogging every day.

Have you ever had trouble like this?

You probably recognise the 'head tilt' on a dog you've loved or met.

Their eyes widen and they angle their head to the side. They might have learned this is a way to get your sympathy—to take them for a walk or give them some of the food you're just about to cram into your mouth.

But specialists have worked out two possible explanations other than your relationship.

According to Mental Floss, pooches empathise with humans and pick up on our emotions. Their experts have suggested another contributing factor to the head tilt: a dog's ear is constructed differently to our own. Their direction finder in the ear isn't as accurate as that of a human. So, they might be adjusting their outer ears to pinpoint the source of a sound.

Another scientist wrote in Psychology Today in 2013 of his theory that dogs with larger muzzles tilt their head more often.

This is because the muzzle impairs a dog's vision to prevent them reading human facial expressions. This applies to the lower half of their face, which gives away key clues as to how a person they admire is feeling when they are talking.

You can test this by holding your fist in front of your nose to get an idea of how a dog sees the world.
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So, there you have it. Dogs tilt their heads because they empathise with humans. They want to make sure they don't miss anything. Whatever the reason, it's cute, right? Source: Mirror. 

I like to think the dog's head-tilt is an expression of love.