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Is gossiping vital for our well being?

6/8/2015

11 Comments

 
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Gossiping sets us apart from the animals and establishes us as human beings. As language developed it allowed early humans to pass on reliable information so they could live in ever increasing groups.

But isn't talking about people behind their backs considered unfaithful, wicked, deceitful?

At UK's Cheltenham Science Festival, a professor of evolutionary psychology at Oxford University says we need gossip to pass on vital information about who to trust, and it helps us bond with family and friends.

“The most important thing that will prevent you dying is the size of the social network.” Rather than feeling guilty about talking behind someone's back, we should accept it as a vital part of human life, which might help us to live longer. Our social network has a huge effect on happiness and wellbeing.

This saddens me—not because of the information, but because I am without anyone to talk to. In one way, social sites like Facebook and blogging releases some of my need to socialize, but I wouldn't share any of the problems I'm encountering by being the main carer for my husband. I've got to hold my stress inside.

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In one way emails, phone calls and newspaper columns consist of gossip. Journalists inform society about cheats and freeloaders and thus protect it.

The Oxford professor goes on to say: 

“The problem we have is how to maintain our social networks. Language evolved to allow us to keep the oil of the social network flowing, keep us up to date, and tell stories which is really important for community cohesion. Gossiping is just chatting with people and keeping up to date with the social world in which you live.”

A previous study from the University of California also found that gossiping can help society control bad behavior and lower stress. Source: The Telegraph. 

A poll of 5,000 people, conducted by global research company www.onepoll.com, found men spend an average 76 minutes a day talking with their friends or work colleagues. Favourite topics include the antics of drunken friends, old school friends, and the most attractive girl at work.

Whereas women spend 52 minutes complaining about other women, other people's sex lives or their friend's weight gain.

A spokesman for Onepoll said, "Although they discuss very different things during their gossiping sessions, men and women agree on one thing – talking with mates, work colleagues or partners makes them feel like they belong."

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And so, I don't belong in society, and all I have are virtual friends. I've just finished reading Rogue Genesis by Ceri London about the power of the mind, which even spans deep space. I like that idea. I've always been a loner, but I've controlled my activities and I could talk to the people I met at work or in the street. I guess loneliness is bound to happen when you retire. If you haven't amassed friends when you were younger, you're sunk if you can't get out and about.

I'll just keep writing. Using my mind by blogging, or creating novels, enables me to escape the confines of an aging body.

Now you've read the reasons behind gossiping, do you feel any better about participating?





11 Comments
Alana link
6/7/2015 08:32:58 pm

From my studies in Cultural Anthropology in college, I had learned of some of the social values of gossip. Of course, back then there was no such thing as the Internet or social media. There are many isolated seniors - you are far from alone in having mainly virtual relationships. I can see such a future for myself; it is not a happy thought. We really do need face to face contact. The Internet is not enough. Thank you for sharing this with your virtual friends. (Also, you may be surprised how many of them may be, or have been, caregivers in a situation similar to yours.)

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Shilpa Garg link
6/7/2015 10:43:53 pm

Having a network of friends is vital for health and well being. Talking to them helps to increase the sense of belonging and also helps reduce stress.

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Kimberly link
6/8/2015 01:08:35 am

I wish this weren't so -- I don't enjoy gossip. I seek out the conversations that explore ideas, concepts, love of the arts -- when it stoops to critiquing others, I want out.
Kimberly
http://FiftyJewels.com

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Ina
6/8/2015 02:03:44 am

My problem is I hate gossiping in the real world. But I have what you can say the 'foot in my mouth' disease. I invariably say the wrong thing at the wrong time. :P However much I try to control my mouth, it just pops out. Eg. a friend of mine bought something without telling her hubby. She told me not to mention it. I did not. Kept quiet and then forgot about it. Like completely forgot.One day, in a family gathering I asked her what was the cost of it. Needless to say I have one less like on my fb. Gossiping is killing my social life. .. :D

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Amar Naik link
6/8/2015 03:44:23 am

each person has its own choice. but friends are needed as they help in removing frustration and cooling us down. some people feel happy to speak out while other are happy in their own world :)

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Tina link
6/8/2015 04:27:45 am

Hahaha ask any girl, they'll say gossip is therapeutic

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Kalpanaa link
6/8/2015 09:54:11 pm

So gossiping is basically about letting off steam. It's an interesting point of view that I didn't agree with for a long time. I'd take the high road about talking about other people but but but... I've recently started a new job (there's nothing quite as annoying as colleagues) and find a short quick gossip about them is a great stress buster. I'm not very proud of it but - it works!
Love your blog - have you written books? I would enjoy reading them. Are they available on Amazon?

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Francene Stanley
6/8/2015 10:36:40 pm

I'm so glad you like my blog, and thank you for the comments. You can see my novels on the sidebar, Kalpanaa. Click on the covers of the first three to go to a store near you. The multiple book poster will take you to see the futuristic co-written books at the publisher's site. Blessings.

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peppylady (Dora) link
6/9/2015 12:40:18 pm

People handle gossip differently. But recently I've heard a few things on "public shaming" using social media. I have to admit I've done it twice on my blog.
But I recall my dad did it to me and I still feel the pain till this day.
What I notice how people react to someone tell the truth or a lie.

Coffee is on

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Ruchi Singh link
6/12/2015 10:06:00 pm

So true... sometimes one has to rant just to let out life's frustration and who better than a friend to talk about it. Fantastic topic!

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Ajay Pai link
6/13/2015 02:47:43 pm

I talk to my friends to unburden myself. Unsure if that can be termed as Gossip.

If Gossiping is healthier, why not give it a try! :)

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    Francene Stanley
    From England, I use news items in my novels which you can see below, all linked to an Amazon near you.

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