Yesterday, Goldie Hawn, the American actress, gave her views about compatibility on the UK television show, Loose Women.
She and her husband have spent more than 30 years together, but have never married.
"We'd been married before (to other people), it didn't work, so why do it again. And marriage ends up being a business deal, because at the end of a marriage, no matter how long or short it is, somebody owes somebody money," Goldie said. "I was on the short end of the stick on that one. So I looked at that and I thought, well this is ridiculous, this kind of thing when you're together two, three, four, even five years, it's an inappropriate amount of money that you have to pay. Money can destroy people."
When asked what she thinks is the key to keeping romance alive, Goldie replied: "We're all different, you enter a relationship with a fingerprint that's all your own, and you want to be able to know how to match your fingerprint to somebody else's, and it doesn't.
"So you work around it, you find the things that are working for you, and things that aren't working for you, and we go through stages of our lives. So we have to be very self-aware, and very reflective and extremely empathetic toward the other person, and forgiving."
The last word sums up reality. Nobody's perfect. If we're committed to our relationship, we need to accept that and move on.
If I'd allowed money matters to overrule my devotion, my husband and I wouldn't have lasted over a year together. Like everything else, we both approach finances a different way. Of course, my way is best (haha) but I understand that we are two entirely different people, brought up with diverse values beliefs. I wouldn't impose my way on him, just as he allows me to be myself. We respect one another, and care about each other's welfare.
We are now approaching another phase of our lives—and these never remain stagnant. Both well into our seventies, we face a final split-up that has nothing to do with our compatibility. I will stand by my man whatever comes our way. The stress caused by his illness transfers to me at times. I try to remain steady and supportive, not matter what.
Of course, I wish he'd conquered more of his failures—like smoking etc. But I know he's done the best he can during his life. Nobody could ask for more. I hope the Great Judge will be lenient.
And so, I think tolerance and forgiveness are two of the most important attitudes in any relationship. What would you say works best to keep couples together?